you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
