i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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