Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
