another moral hangover. fuck.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
