it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it because I queefed?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
