are you still at the devil's house?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
