a search helicopter?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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