You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
