ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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