Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
