I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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