so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
