Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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