Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
