I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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