Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
