TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
