in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
