I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
