My boss' voice literally gives me gas
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
