I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
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