he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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