Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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