you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
