'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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