You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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