Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
