Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
