We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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