dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
