There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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