i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
