ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
