Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
