I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
