didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
