I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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