Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
