we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
