Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its not stalking. its research.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
