i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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