youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
