while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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