she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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