i need an iv and a liver transplant
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
