My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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