Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
