Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
