we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
