I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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