I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
