where am i from again
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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