I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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