Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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